Entry for April 17, 2007-Self and Perspective

Have you ever justs stared at yourself in the mirror and wondered who that person is? I sometimes do, because the image is so different from my mental self image. I think to some extend we all have such a distorted view. Not a bad view, just an idealistic view, which is fixed at a place when you remember yourself, maybe from a favorite picture or ?

I started thinking about this yesterday. The restroom near my office(cubicle) at work was closed for repairs, so I used the next closest one. Its really big, and has a full length mirror in the hallway before you exit. This is seriously one big mirror, floor to ceiling, and about 4 feet wide. So while standing there fixing my hair, I started thinking about how I look, in this big mirror. As I turned side to side, I thought about being younger, and slimmer, than I am now(sigh). Back at my desk, I started thinking I wasn't attractive, no, not even that...I started thinking I was almost ugly.

Webster says ugly is "Offensive to the sight; contrary to beauty; being of disagreeable or loathsome aspect; unsightly; repulsive" I would say contrary to beauty fits.

I even did something I normally don't do, and a spent several minutes before going home redoing my makeup, and combing my hair- all for the walk to the elevator, the ride down and walking to my car!
While watching TV at home, I found myself comparing me to just about every woman in every show I watched...and so finally I got an idea- I will put on a new top I bought over the weekend, and take my picture. Then I would wait until today to see the picture on my computer, and evaluate how I look.

A new day, a new outlook.