I feel a sense of loss, not a deep painful loss, but somehow a disconnectivity from some of my friends here on Yahoo. I know many people are stopping by to see what kind of nonsense i have put to page, whether its IT news, music, stories of my past, or just life in general.
But no comments.
Used to be that people stopping to look the page over would just say hi, how are ya...not its click, scan, outta here, go somewhere new, see someone elses page, don't try to maintain the most fragile of communications, the disembodied voices put to electronic page to share these thoughts...and i am left where I started when i put this page on the Public mode several months ago, mostly writing for myself, capturing my thoughts for as long as the server is operating that houses these words, in bits and bytes.
I try to share, and yet I also feel the loneliness of others in these moments, the fear that bubbles through the commentary. Trying to earn a living doing something you love doing but suffering through humiliating near poverty to pursue that dream; the emotional toll of dealing with others in the world; the pain of rejected love, unanticipated seperation, loss of affection, all play themsleves out on these pages.
Maybe its the fact that by reading the same pages everyday, we become immune to the addictive quality of our words to others, who thirst for communication about others lives without the burdens of really caring, just in it for the voyeurism of it. Like looking through a window while passing by, and seeing the family at the table, perhaps eating a roasted turkey, and wondering if its a special meal, and why. There is no real care in the thought, only the idle curiousity of it.
We are all different in some way, and yet there is something in common, having chosen to play out whatever drama or comedy we call life on these pages; choices to share and bare all, or conceit and conceal, to be whimsical or practical.
On a less philospohical note- leave something behind after stopping by, comments are welcome
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