When i got married at 28, after years of being independent and basically not having any responsibility, I became an instant parent via my stepdaughter, and suddenly started to acquire the ability to be a irrational dimwit while still holding a job and cleaning house, cooking, etc. Life wasn't hard, but management of the household was. Part of that was a diminished intimacy between honey and me, because there was the kid, the dog, and often times her friends staying over. Over the years it became a less frequent occurrence that we shared the sort of intense physical intimacy I had treasured, but there was never a loss of affection or love for each other, especially when we reflected on the difficult life experiences we had shared and consoled each other through, emotional and sometimes financially stressful events.
Then diseases common to middle aged and older adults came along- for me adult onset (Type II) diabetes partly because of predisposition and mostly because of being overweight, then hypertension(high blood pressure). I got medical care and take medications and live a pretty much regular life.
But then honey started getting that "I don't want" attitude, and I started freaking out. Then i finally found out the problem wasn't me, it was "a man problem". We discussed various treatments, and honey insisted nothing was wrong with the "putter", it was just age. I know that's baloney, but you can't force feed someone something that would help them. Honeys doctor even suggested a specific medication ( not Viagra) to help...Nope, ain't taking no pills. AHHHH!!
Which leads me to this blog.
The other day while getting ready for work, I was applying makeup, and started crying. Honey said whats wrong baby, and I said I hate getting old and ugly. A pair of arms slipped around my waist and I heard the voice cooing in my ears," you ain't ugly baby, we all age, and you are ageing beautiful"...and the next thing you know we are on the bed and things are like 10 years ago. I don't know and don't really care how, all i know is i had a smile on my face all day, and didn't tell anyone why...even though i was late to work...it was worth it.
This year will be our 27th year together...
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