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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Entry for March 11, 2009

Looks vex me.

Listen, my heritage is essential Swedish, German, Scottish, Irish, and the rest of northern Europe in various smaller percentiles. That means my “bone structure” runs on the big side…as in 6 feet tall, and due to thyroid, diabetes, high blood pressure etc (whatever ) what the doctor calls overfat. (seriously, not overweight, overfat)

As age progresses, I find there are fewer (and fewer) looks my way. Not like people look away in horror, it’s like I am part of the landscape. Part of that blur in the background while you look around…lawn, trees, buildings, sidewalk, big blonde woman…am I a blonde anymore? It says so on my license, but it looks light brown, with some blonde maybe…vanity, some of the blonde has gone grey

The exception would be guys more or less older than me what like to smile, sometimes say “how’s it going” or good morning. Then there are the “internet people”…people like those on 360, MySpace, Multiply, Eons, etc, that read your blog (maybe) and then strike up an exchange of messages, if you let them. Any more I do if they are polite, with the caveat that message asking for risqué photos or more ends the conversation.

Some of these online suitors have actually suggested things that really kinda bugged me..

Some are into fetish behavior, and try as they will, I am not getting it, why. Nothing weird like smelling ladies shoes in the dark on a Tuesday, there is a desire to participate in physical contact of the abusive kind. Not my thing, at ALL. As much as my dad smacked me growing up, I never associated it with love or sexuality. Lest I make them uncomfortable, I change gears here.

Back to my original premise; via some observing of others my age, I no longer feel like I alone, for I am part of the fairer gender that is now relegated to status of backdrop to life. There are tons of us, women over say 50 that have lost the allure of youth, no manner how hard we try to keep it.

I have taken over our bath room with various cosmetics, facial oils, body creams, moisturizers, eye moisturizer, and skin toners, not to mention the small suitcase of eye, face and lip makeup I have. I need the help. But I will still be a ‘mature woman’. At least I know that. Now where are those spike heels and miniskirt with the see thru blouse?

Just kidding, believe me, just kidding…spike heels???are you crazy..at MY age?

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