Somethings you have absolutely no control over, some you try to control and some we tend to thing we are absolute masters of. Yet its pretty amazing to me how something like the illusion of control escapes us with our own bodies? 
I got the job when last fall they interviewed people, and as part of the process a test, where you describe why most major projects fail. i wrote "Monumental lack of imagination coupled with a lack of humility, capped by total arrogance." or something akin to that. Who knew that kind of smart alecky response would be well received?? So then they call me, and offer me the job ( great salary, benefits) and tell me I have 2 years to accomplish my mission. All they have are all these meeting notes about the project, but no plan per se, so i have to do all that stuff, organize and recruit a team of like 22 people, or is it up to 29 now, and OH Yeah, learn who in this organization of 10,000 people to trust and who is going to back stab you, and try to sabotage you, for their own agenda...sorry, it still bothers me.
I met with the Board of Directors, and told them where we are and how we could do what they wanted, but had to overcome some obstacles back in February, after i got permission to hire some consultants to assist us in some particularly specialized areas, digital certificates and PKI, which is pretty much the extent of my knowledge, sufficed to say it is a security feature to make sure authorized people are doing what they are permitted to do, as in send and receive sensitive data. That went OK, not great. Then the first project phase meeting with them, and I started getting peppered with questions about stuff totally off the wall to what I was doing...come to find out the Chief Information Officer was put out over my recruiting from his staff...so i went back to work and tried to salvage my project, which I did by pestering the consultants to work more with my staff, and let our team come to some different solutions, ones that were really more in line with our goals...and then present that set of new priorities to the Board. i did that a couple of weeks ago, and it went extremely well. partly because I met with the CIO and promised to back him when he requested a bigger budget to implement some things, and hardware improvement, to "ensure Canice's project has a good footing"..yeah, well, we all make little deals I guess to get bigger things done.
So whats the importance of all the project details? Well, back to the picture in the brochure...which by the way is the one of me with the green background...I had the really bad meeting, and so i was worried, stressed, and actually made myself sick with worry...and hence i didn't eat, because it would make me nauseated..so consequently, i lost weight, and ended up looking really slim(for me) in the picture...which people have commented on saying how great i look. But after that, when i got the good news a couple of weeks ago, I started eating like I do when i am happy---cheeseburger for lunch, sure why not? 
Anyway....I have been thinking about this stupid blog way too much, because i kind of like not having to write about work, but just brain dump a lot of emotional baggage, which I guess is a good thing...when I try to tell stuff about work to my honey, there usually comes a
" can you tell me in just a minute, I'm (1) doing something, or (2) listening to this news story or (3) Honey, you're right in the middle of the game/playoff/series" so I find it a relief to dump it all here, so you can read it and say, "boy that woman is MESSED up...BIG TIME."
Don't you just love how I can babble on and on about a multitude of topics and end up making no sense at all...well, except to my friends, they're used to it
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