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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy 2009!!!

 I got to work about 8:40 or so and opened my email to see my boss had called a 8:00 meeting- rats!  I sent a reply that I had been working on something and just read the email..OOPS. Although I have been complaining that the email is wacky since they moved my home drive from the server at headquarters to the worksite server (which I spec'd, authorized the order, and oversaw the installation of thank you...as part of a $236,000 infrastructure build I supervised

So I had to zoom back over to HQ, smooth ruffled feathers, and review a stupid multipage excel workbook naming all the business crtical systems we have...fun..As my office there is on the front of the building, basically over the enterway 4 floors below, I started noticing the flow of people out of the building at 2. I joined them at 3, to go back to the worksite, and in the elevator a guy started a conversation about New Year and all, and said he was glad the executives had decided to let people go home early and all....WHAT? Nobody told me.

The division I am working for, as their IT project person assigned from HQI T Division, I was a little disappointed that all the management at the division had decided to take a vacation day today and Friday...essentially leaving me as the highest "ranking" person at the facility I am working at. Yet I have no authority to tell people to go home, yet they all think I do...so I did. I said finsih up what you are doinng and go home; freinds and family are important..see you next year. It was a few minutes after that when it occurred to me that the security guard and I were the only ones still there, and he had to be...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy 2009!!!

I got to work about 8:40 or so and opened my email to see my boss had called a 8:00 meeting- rats! I sent a reply that I had been working on something and just read the email..OOPS. Although I have been complaining that the email is wacky since they moved my home drive from the server at headquarters to the worksite server (which I spec'd, authorized the order, and oversaw the installation of thank you...as part of a $236,000 infrastructure build I supervised

So I had to zoom back over to HQ, smooth ruffled feathers, and review a stupid multipage excel workbook naming all the business crtical systems we have...fun..As my office there is on the front of the building, basically over the enterway 4 floors below, I started noticing the flow of people out of the building at 2. I joined them at 3, to go back to the worksite, and in the elevator a guy started a conversation about New Year and all, and said he was glad the executives had decided to let people go home early and all....WHAT? Nobody told me.

The division I am working for, as their IT project person assigned from HQI T Division, I was a little disappointed that all the management at the division had decided to take a vacation day today and Friday...essentially leaving me as the highest "ranking" person at the facility I am working at. Yet I have no authority to tell people to go home, yet they all think I do...so I did. I said finsih up what you are doinng and go home; freinds and family are important..see you next year. It was a few minutes after that when it occurred to me that the security guard and I were the only ones still there, and he had to be...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

December 28, 2008

Christmas...once the gifts have been opened, the laughter and joy shared, the food eaten...then what?
We decided to go visit the daughter and her hubbie, who were going to go to Portland to see his parents the weekend before, only to have their flights canceled. She said they would have been stuck at the mid-way point for three days, waiting to go on...

The weather was a brisk 20 something the other morning when we left, and a balmy 52 near the ocean where they live, on the north part of the Monterey peninsula. They just moved to a more spacious two bedroom apartment, which honey estimates to be about 900 sq ft compared to the 477 sq ft they lived in. I still cant see how that small a space was renting for 1600 a month, especially since it had been built in the 1920's..and looked it.

Their new place (same rent, just bigger) is further away from the ocean, which doesnt bother them since they never go to the beach anyway.
We had a good time, and thankfully now they have a place big enough for us to stay over at, honey said we might come down to visit them more often. When we went ot see them before, it was so cramped we would rent a hotel room, usually for about $200 a night, so extended stays were a little expensive...and so they came to see us more.
I think from now to the new year I am not going to be so busy online, and catch up on some things...

Have a happy NEW YEAR, hope your Christmas was joyous!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Entry for Christmas EVE, December 24, 2008

I am a determined person, usually. I was determined to have a great Christmas even if our daughter and husband had made some goofy determination to ALWAYS spend Christmas with his parents, and alternate Thanksgivings with us and them. So when the weather turned on them and forced them to stay home this year, I was glad they were traveling, but also was a little smug about the fact that they would not be able to keep their plans to never have Christmas with us again...
But then what is Christmas if not for being with family?
In talking to her the other day, I asked if she wanted us to come there for Christmas, and after we discussed the incoming storms, decided we would go visit them the day after Christmas and the weekend. Post Christmas in the mountains, overlooking the Pacific...
Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Entry for December 19, 2008

Couple of things...I went home early today, since there was not a lot going on, and when the evening rolled around, I was watching the news, and found out our Governor is proposing to layoff state employees, and require the ones still working to take a 10% pay cut. Many people I know think government workers all make too much money, so it would probably surprise them thaty where i have been working at a state facility many of the machine operators make about $16 a hour, while their private industry counterparts make around $22 an hour. Its a trade off for a stable job versus more money. Still, i dont think California is going to make a dent in their budget shortage by doing this...California is about $7 BILLION in debt right, so if state workers could balance that, it would mean each of them taking a 100% pay cut for about a year....good thinking Gov.

Merry Christmas

My daughter called to say it was really snowing the other morning at her house, overlooking Santa Cruz CA...about 3 miles from the ocean!

My brother is working a lot of overtime with his new job as plow maintenance supervisor in the mountains...I might give him some of those artic boots for Christmas.. It has been COLD here in our valley, high 20s at night, low 40s in the day...

Dec 19, 2008 10:15 am US/Pacific

Blowing Snow Making Sierra Travel Difficult

SACRAMENTO (CBS13/AP) ―
Crews repaired downed power lines, motorists cursed and skiers rejoiced Friday as another winter storm raced through the Sierra with more snow and strong winds, including one gust of 142 mph over a mountain ridge west of Lake Tahoe.

Interstate 80 over Donner Summit, a major artery into northern California, was closed for nearly six hours before reopening at 6:30 a.m., said Donna Jones, a California Department of Transportation supervisor in Kingvale, Calif.

"The blowing snow caused zero visibility. So for safety reasons we closed it," Jones said.

Chains were mandatory later Friday on all three highways linking the Sacramento, Calif., and Sierra areas: I-80 over Donner Summit, U.S. 50 over Echo Summit and Highway 88 over Carson Pass.
Winds in Reno gusted up to 79 mph early Friday, said Gina McGuire, a National Weather Service forecaster in Reno. To the south, she reported gusts of up to 162 mph on White Mountain Summit in Mono County, Calif., and up to 82 mph in Washoe Valley north of Carson City.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

EXTRA! One week to Christmas - December 18, 2008

I look forward to Christmas. I really do. I think because its the one time of the year people have an excuse to be nice to each other and giving of themselves. Why we need to have an excuse is beyond me.

Our lawn care guy is a retired guy with a beat up old pickup, and equipment that looks like he hobbled it together in his garage. Tonight he came by to collect his fee, and greeted honey "Merry Christmas"...honey went to get the checkbook, and wrote two checks and asked for a Christmas card, and quickly stuffed one of the checks inside> and then opened the door , went out the door to the porch, handing everything to our guy.

I could hear them: "Thanks for the card"

"You better look inside"

"Man, thats mighty nice of you. Better put that in my pocket before my wife sees it...she's int he truck"

Merry Christmas.

Scottish people do have some interesting customs and traditions. It is believed that if the fire goes out on Christmas Eve, the household will suffer bead luck in the coming year.

Mischievous elves climb down the chimney and cause troubles in the family. However, a raging fire can scare them away. On Christmas day, people lit big bonfires, play bagpipes and dance around the bonfire. Traditional oatmeal cakes known as Bannock are eaten on this day.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Entry for December 16, 2008

Sad to say that at quarter after 10 PM, I am not in bed sleeping, but thinking...and not about anything in the news, because I have consciously ignored the news as much as possible lately.

I think about work even when i am not there. I have a lot to think about. Dont get me wrong, I am not bragging about how self important I am, I was raised to eschew that sort of behavior. Maybe that's part of my problem- when i do get credit, i can't handle it. I was complaining this weekend about why is that when you find a job you seem to be good at, you hate it?? I have done this IT project stuff for nearly 10 years, so i guess i am bound to know a thing or two, and yet I hate it...the reports, the hassle of dealing with the contractor vendors, of keeping our own budget people from paying unapproved bills, and trying to convince management that spending a half million dollars now in a bad budget cycle makes sense... because the vendor is also in a down turn and is will to sell nearly a million dollars of hardware, software and services for half...

Today i had several vendor meetings, and finally met this woman I had talked to several times on the phone. I had imaged her a middle aged career woman, average build etc...I mean what do i know. I come back from lunch and there is the human Barbie doll, who smiles and says are you Canice? I acknowledge that and she tells me she is my appointment. Afterward, the managers I work with (all women) and I discuss what we are going to do to follow up, and I blurt out "and when the hell was anyone going to tell me we were meeting the human barbie doll??" Hilarious laughter, and then the commentary, which seemed warranted at the time...I swear she had the smallest waist I have ever seen, and we decided she had her clothes spray painted on, to match her black snakeskin 4 inch heels...and her chest was obviously man made, as evident by the looks form the men in the place...and worse, we think she uses botox, since her face was frozen the entire meeting, even though I (apparently) was staring at her mouth... how do you talk without any facial movement???

Now I am thinking about the meetings i have tomorrow, but Alas, honey and the dog are going to bed, and I should follow... and think about Christmas being only 9 more days

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Entry for December 14, 2008

Well, here I am watching for the umpteenth time Animal House, which always reminds me of my own college experience. Our campus had a fraternity that was kicked off campus, and had a house about a mile away. It was actually a old farm house, with several rooms upstairs which one time no doubt served as a wonderful family home, and now was the scene of almost nightly booze, dope, sex, loud music and other forms of debauchery common with collegians...

The night I remember a friend and i wandered to the place, having never been there, having asked the person who told us about the party how to find it; "Don't worry, once you're in the neighborhood you'll find it" We drove to the area, and found the sides of the road packed with cars, and after parking, started walking towards what sounded like a live performance by the Grateful Dead...some guys showed had up with these monstrous speakers, that they say came from a movie theater being dismantled... ah fun times.

But now I must start thinking about what to wear tomorrow to this friggin big all day meeting, that I have no idea why I am supposed to go to, other than the director's secretary sent me email invites several times...

I read the agenda, and it doesn't look too exciting...introduction remarks, blah blah, some big shot gives a speech, lunch and then more talking..fun...yeah, right.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Future of American Cars

If you are under 40, its doubtful you personally witnessed the demise of a car company. I have, back when i was learning to drive there were at least 6 auto makers: General Motors, Ford, Chrysler, American Motors, Studebaker, and Kaiser- Jeep.

One of the cars I learned to drive in was a Studebaker Hawk...Studebaker had one last fling in the auto world with the Avanti, which was pretty advanced for its day. Studebaker faded away in the mid 1960's, gone by 1967.

In 1970 Kaiser-Jeep was merged with American Motors, which continued to produce Jeeps and another division, which was named AM General (who would make military vehicles.)

American Motors Corporation(AMC) produced some really different cars to stay in business, like the Pacer (known to my friends as the Spacer) along with the Javelin and Rebel. AMC was bought up by Chrysler in 1987, and Jeep was merged into Chrysler.

And then there were the BIG Three.  Now they are in trouble, trying to stay alive with Federal (taxpayer) money. Senators from states with foreign owned car company plants are fighting it.

The TV talking heads are screaming (1) they had 30 years to figure it out(after the last big oil crisis) and (2) the unions are making them unprofitable.

I disagree. Things aren't usually as they seem, and this is no different.

For the last thirty years Americans have lapped up whatever creature comforts they felt like, including the need for big vehicles. American small cars don't sell as well ( in my opinion) not because they aren't built well, but generally I find them UNCOMFORTABLE. Making payments on a car you don't like is real annoying.

My honey is over 6 feet tall, and over 200 pounds- he absolutely hated his 1994 Toyota truck solely for one failure, comfort..and he had the same problem with our 1998 Chevrolet, because the ceiling was too low, and not enough leg room. Want to take more than one person with you, forget it. So we finally tried a SUV...ahhhh, headroom, leg room, passenger space.

Second point, the unions .

Business Week said "With ...Detroit Three slashing payrolls and moving retiree benefits off their books, Toyota's edge is disappearing.

Some of Toyota's U.S. plants are now more than 20 years old, and a growing number of its workers are paid the top wage of about $25 an hour. That's less than Detroit's veteran union hands make now, but a contract inked last fall will enable U.S. automakers to replace many highly paid employees with cheaper workers. By 2011, Toyota's cost advantage over Detroit could disappear. "The Japanese automakers have been here for almost 30 years," says Michael Robinet, an analyst at CSM Worldwide, a Northville (Mich.) research firm. "They'll start to have Big Three-like costs creeping in."

Toyota is worried. Two sources close to the company say that by late 2009, Toyota's 23-year-old assembly plant in Georgetown, Ky., where most workers are at the top of the pay scale, could have the highest labor costs of any auto factory in the U.S. Toyota says that with bonuses, some of its employees already make more than Detroit's unionized workers. "I think [the Detroit automakers] could easily equal us or even exceed us in terms of having lower labor costs," says Pete Gritton, human resources chief for Toyota in North America. "

COST-CUTTING

Detroit's recent four-year union deal lets automakers pay lower wages to people whose work doesn't actually involve making cars—maintenance staffers, those who sort materials, cleaning crews, and the like. These new workers will make $14 an hour including benefits, compared with $42 an hour for employees who put the cars together, says Sean McAlinden, chief economist at the Center for Automotive Research in Ann Arbor, Mich.

The savings add up. General Motors (GM), for instance, has 74,500 workers. By 2011 GM will have about 68,000, and up to one-third of them will be earning the lower wage, predicts McAlinden. If GM can get all the buyouts it needs and hire cheaper labor to replace them, the company could cut its wage bill by $2.7 billion annually by 2011, he says. That adds up to $841 a car, or about half of the current cost differential with Toyota. A retiree health-care deal, which will give the United Auto Workers union $36 billion in exchange for taking over medical insurance, should save GM an additional $699 a car. That would turn Toyota's labor cost advantage over GM of $1,394 per car to a $108 disadvantage by 2011, McAlinden says.

Since Toyota has started building more plants in the US/Mexico border region, that may be an avenue they pursue more of as their US plants become uncompetitive. They currently build Tacoma pickups both in Tijuana and Fremont California, a factory shared with ...GM.

"NUMMI manufactures the Corolla and Tacoma for Toyota, and the Pontiac Vibe for General Motors"

We Americans need to get over the idea that things can be righted overnight.

 My opinion is that the car companies need to look at making some serious structural change, given hat their market share is going to continue to dwindle. Does it make sense for GM to be so big? Or should they pare down to the divisions making the most money, or at least eliminate duplication? Chrysler needs to revisit their whole idea of being owned by a investment group. Fact is I suspect Chrysler and Dodge will disappear, and Jeep will either be bought by someone (Renault is said to be interested as is GM), or go the way of Harley Davidson, employee ownership. Ford is ..well Ford, Ford cars and trucks, and Lincoln-Mercury.

No easy solutions, and all will involve work. But I think we should try. We cant all work at Starbucks.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Entry for December 12, 2008

I have been real busy at work, and attending a project managers conference the last two days, so I have not really caught a lot of news lately...I do that because I just want to be totally undistracted when relaxing, which can be squeezed between dinner and bedtime...so today when i got home at a surprisingly early 4:15PM, I flipped on the TV, and caught this on the news crawl on the bottom of the screen

"...sheriff's investigator in the case thinks the remains are Caylee's."

My heart sunk, and then I sat in my big chair and started to cry.

Knowing the stress I have from consenting the vet put my beloved dog down last year, I can NOT fathom how a person, let alone the PARENT, kill their own sweet 2 year old child? I looked at the picture of my daughter and her husband i took on Thanksgiving, and wondered how someone could live with themself in terminating a childs life and right to grow up...I just cant imagine it..

We will never know the potential this child held...which diminishes us all.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Entry for December 07, 2008

67 years go the United States was attacked by Japan...(it seems odd that the occurrence was a Sunday and this anniversary is as well.)

Well before I was born, my grandfather and family were newly arrived in California, seeking work. He was a master carpenter, learning his trade in various places around the west. He managed to land a job at the US Naval Ship Yard at Mare Island, adjacent to Vallejo CA.

While grandmother prepared some food following returning home from church, he turned on his radio, and heard the news of the attack. My grandmother told me once that the next day an anti aircraft gun was set up behind their house, and fear was everywhere that some mystery planes would fly over the bay and bomb the shipyard, which had begun to specialize in building and servicing submarines.

SO, today I will not rant and rave, and realize how arrogant our society as become (where the word sacrifice applies to someone else, but certainly not ME?) and generally will try to reflect on the lessons I learned about the world listening to my grandparents when they were alive..

Self reliance, thrift, simplicity. I thought that's what everyone knew..until I grew up.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Entry for December 06, 2008

There have been many instances of the use of the military within the borders of the United States, such as during the Whiskey Rebellion and in the South during the civil rights crises, but these acts are not tantamount to a declaration of martial law. The distinction must be made as clear as that between martial law and military justice: deployment of troops does not necessarily mean that the civil courts cannot function, and that is one of the keys, as the Supreme Court noted, to martial law.

Of late there has been scattered media reports that the US military is preparing to impose martial law, should things get out of hand due to our current economy. I thought this was a bit off the mark, but then I remembered about a decade ago when our town was part of an "exercise" which saw USMC troop and gunship helicopters flying very low and fast all over town, picking up and dropping off Marines. Apparently this happened across the country with Army and Marine units. Now I find out the units selected for the "Consequences Management Operations have all had combat tours of duty in urban areas of Iraq and mountain regions of Afghanistan. Maybe I better re watch that movie "The Siege"....

I know many people find comfort in the nanny state we have become, especially here in the west. I dont. My family were pioneers, and self reliance was critical to survival. But given the dismal state of the economy, and the continued lowering of our expectations of each other, it probably wont be long until places like Montana actually do suceed from the US.

Maybe the Russian economist that predicts the dissolution of the USA isnt too far off the mark after all. I hope not though.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Who me? Panic? Why? December 5, 2008

I have thought about this on and off for months.

I am interested in national politics for sure, but I also like to study up on military stuff, having grown up in the vicinity of three military bases (McClellan and Mather AFB, and the Sacramento Army Depot), and being exposed to the Marine Corp Gazette on a monthly basis in childhood by my dad, a Korean War Marine Officer, who later became a police detective.

As the eldest child, I was the one expected to carry on the family traditions until my brothers were born, but as we grew up dad realized they weren't going to follow his lead in college and professional life, so I was under a lot of pressure to " show your brothers what hard work can do"...I graduated high school early (in spite of my introduction to alcohol and recreational drugs) graduated junior college early (in spite of alcohol and recreational drugs) and went on to university...Oh,  and got booted out because I had gone from a sweet girl to hippie slut in my dad's opinion.  But I discussed this all already in another blog...

So after college, I needed a job, and ended up working for DoD as a grade school teacher in Germany, where I dated (code for slept with) a Army officer working in Military Intelligence. I later married him, and following our return to the USA, divorced his cheating ass... again, another blog somewhere in this 360..

So anyways, I am not totally out of the loop on military stuff (honey is a VietNam vet, was a NCO and got a battlefield commission- he says like the movies, someone gets killed, somebody gets promoted...) So we get a lot of Army stuff in the mail, and after 9/11 he renewed his membership in some things like the Officer Reserve Association (?) and American Legion..who both have publications we get.  These peak my interest sometimes, like when I read some of the thinking in the Army today from some newsletter he gets.

And then there is some of the stuff I hear on the radio, from various (mostly conservative) talk shows.. So I was thinking about this today again after this morning's entry...what if like a bad episode of 24, nasty people smuggled a nuclear weapon into the USA? What if they had a small bomb that a couple of guys could carry and walked across the desert top a giant nuclear plant in the desert, and screamed out whatever they yell before vaporizing, and KABLOOEY, vaporized themselves and everything else in a 500 meter radius.  Honey says this is entirely possible, because he worked with "Special Weapons" in the Army in the mid 70's, and remembers something designed for a few guys to setup and then remotely detonate...so we goggled it and found this… (Note how the military always names stuff like, “Uniform, Battle Dress”)

Weapon

Type

Weight

Damage

Tactical Nuclear Device, Portable

Nuclear

3 kg Detonator, 22 kg Device

Crater 100 m, Fireball 500 m, Total Destruction 470 m, Heavy Destruction 680 m, Medium Destruction 1042 m, Light Destruction 1303 m, Radiation Cloud 1500 m; Initial Rads 6000, Half-Life 6 h

Tactical Nuclear Device, Portable

A standard nuclear weapon, suitable for use by Special Forces or atomic demolition munitions personnel, packaged in a standard nylon backpack.

22 KG is not very heavy…OK, so lets suppose this happens, I mean people are writing books about this all the time lately..

Would the local police and FEMA be able to deal with it?? Seriously, thousands of potential casualties, and probably anarchy, as one of my films says “…there will be panic, chaos in the streets. There will be looting and killing…”

I mean in my mind it would make Katrina look like a picnic…so therefore I believe that this must be part of the mission of the Northern Command, which explains the composition of their Reaction Force, who is heavily tilted to combat troops and a specialized medical brigade..

Now combine these ideas with Biden’s ominous “…Because it's not going to be apparent initially; it's not going to be apparent that we're right.

Right about what Joe?  Imposing martial law? Suspending the Bill of Rights?

 

I am like you, scared and wanting to have some idea what’s happening..we’re in this together, aren’t we?

Another Entry for December 05, 2008

dam Yahoo, damn you to...Ya Hell http://canicem.multiply.com/journal

to see this entry go to my multiply blog

December 05, 2008

I must apologize for my tantrum yesterday..but the economic news is of late so dismal...

And then there is our national security situation...

The Washington Post recently reported the Pentagon plans to have up 20,000 U.S. troops placed in domestic locations with the charge of responding to security matters.

Some of those troops -- which are under the U.S. Northern Command -- are already active in Arizona, helping with security efforts along the Mexican border. ( you mean the engineers building the fence??? But we were told those were National Guard.)

The Colorado Springs, Colo.-based Northern Command was created after 9/11 and is geared towards homeland security and civil defense within the U.S.

I want to know more abpout the Northern Command..."The mission of USNORTHCOM is homeland defense and civil support. The command conducts operations to deter, prevent, defeat and mitigate threats and aggression aimed at the United States, its territories and interests within the assigned area of responsibility. Also, as directed by the President or Secretary of Defense, USNORTHCOM provides military assistance to civil authorities including consequence management operations"

i was ok with this until the phrase "military assistance to civil authorities including consequence management operations. Having worked for DoD early in my work life, I know words are selected very carefully, especially in any publication that may go public.

In September of this year, GlobalSecurity.Org wrote"

Consequence Management Response Force to join Army Northern Command

Elements of the force, known as the ... Consequence Management Response Force, or CCMRF, assembled at Fort Stewart, Ga., Sept. 8-19 for a command post exercise ...Three brigades form the core of the force: the 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart; the 1st Medical Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas; and the 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade, Fort Bragg, N.C.

The response force will be assigned on Oct. 1 to U.S. Northern Command, Peterson Air Force Base, Colo., and placed under the operational control of U.S. Army North, Fort Sam Houston, Texas.

I know what an Infantry Brigade is, since honey served in the 3rd Infantry Division. And the Medical brigade could provide immediate medical care for hundres of people should it be required...but the 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade, I am not sure...its the word Combat that puzzles me. I mean if you were supporting civil authority in an emergency, there are lots of units that fly helicopters and could do that job, so why a aviation unit from the 82nd Airborne, a paratroop division..I mean the 101st is the Air Mobile Division... Want to really get the willies, read their mission statement:

Mission

On order, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade deploys worldwide to find, fix and destroy enemy forces using aerial fire and maneuver to concentrate and sustain combat power

Thats all good in war, but here in the USA??

Something else is going on here...this seems more aimed at instituting martial law and enforcement while prosecuting combat operations on American soil...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

entry for December 04, 2008

I have a 360 friend who recently wrote:

"I believe in people. I believe is life. I even still believe in God. I don't really know why.

I don't believe in religion. It's as corrupt as a politician under oath and as deviate as a porn star at Pentecost.

I do believe that there's an energy out there somewhere. I believe that there's an energy that inspires us to love, to dream, to hope, to think, to breathe... and that is what I call God."

Thats all good, essentially we are of the same mindset so far... But then "I don't support the troops. There I said it."

Wow...I am not offended or hurt, even though I have a cousin who did two tours in Iraq and is now on his second deployment to Afghanistan. This is America after all, and people can say what they want, at least within the limits of the law- you know, unless they slander someone or yell fire in a crowd when there isnt one. I totally get being against war, really I do. I have another cousin who is basically non-functional member of society because of his experience in Viet Nam, and honey and my brother in law both served during that period, and just dont want to talk about it. War is hell is an understatement. So I am guessing that not supporting the troops makes a similar statement, one I can not necessarily endorse. There I said it....whatever I said. (Its a gift and curse to be so scatter brained)

So why am I pissed off? Because I think that as a nation, we take too much for granted. I think too many people put too much energy into seeking things and not trying to understand things. I am no different. I have been home all this week, and realizew\ I have been working hard to earn money to pay for daily expenses, our daughters education, our retirement, and along the way have bought way too much stuff, meaning I need a bigger house to hold it all, and for what?? My 457/401K has shrunk 64%...thats right, I said SIXTY FOUR % How do you think that sits with me? Our home we worked so hard to pay off quickly, now owing only 10 years worth of payments, is friggin down in value to where it was almost 11 years ago. Let me explain it different- it is worth 50% what it was 2 years ago!!!! People say get over it...I say F__K YOU, you get over it. Get over having to rearrange your life plan because corporate assholes were busy taking private jets to spa vacations while the company they ran floundered. Get over having our government being just as screwed up, both parties. ( Im going to rant now)

Get over having women candidates vilified in both election campaigns...Get over visions of Bush on a carrier saying major combat is over, then enduring years of protracted conflict which has cost thousands of lives, only for him to only recently admit his decisions were based on faulty intelligence ( his???) Get over what exactly...

I need a drink...or a vat of soon to be worthless money.

Thanks for reading this...if you disagree or agree, well, we're in this together aren't we?

Monday, December 1, 2008

Sunrise in the fog - December 01, 2008

The picture today i call sunrise in the fog, which hey is waht it is...but its also a metaphor for how i feel today.

Some of you may have read enough of my blog here to know i have issues, duh! I go on political rants a lot lately, and don't discuss my personal life too much any more.

I think I should, if for no other reason than maybe me carping about my issues would inspire someone to do something for themselves. I say that because over the Thanksgiving holiday my daughter and her husband visited, going home Saturday. We went to do somethings Saturday morning, venturing out to the local farmers market, swap meet/auction, where I managed to get Egyptian made rug for $45...I often wonder if these are stolen or what?? The quality is OK, but whatever, this is off topic.

So at lunch after shopping, I asked my SIL (son-in-law) why at dinner the other night he says "I am really proud of the way you are taking care of yourself". (A remark that cause me and my daughter to exchange shrugs).

He explained to me that his best man at their wedding (who probably is in his mid 30's) found out he has an enlarged heart and some other medical conditions, and has steadfastly refused to follow the treatments the doctors have told him...take his medications and avoid things like fatty foods, and alcohol. SIL says he knows i used to love wine and some beers, and he hadn't seen me drink anything all weekend, and so my daughter had told him that since I was put on some different medications for my diabetes, I just decided to stop drinking any alcohol at all, with rare exceptions.

here's the thing.

I am really selfish- I have worked hard to get to where i am so that honey and i can retire someday and not have to worry about things like, OH, affording to eat, pay our own way, little things like that. And I would like to someday be able to just go to the beach whenever i want, not just on vacation or weekends. So i do what the doctors say so i can do those things.

I told SIL to tell his friend he is an idiot, and needs some mental help. I was really depressed when i was diagnosed with Type II diabetes, but I thought about what the alternatives were to not taking my meds, and decided i was selfish, and wanted to be around awhile. For me, my family and our friends.

I have managed my diabetes for the last 12 years, so i guess I am doing something OK. My latest thing to deal with has been thyroid problems, leading to the decision with my specialist doctor to take a dose of radioactive Iodine today to shrink the thyroid.

I guess for the next week I will be somewhat dangerous to others, as I wander around throwing out Beta rays. Worse part will be sleeping alone for a week, until the level of radiation in me is no longer a danger to others. So when i got home for the doctor, I decided to see why my of late normally tight jeans felt OK, it not actually a little loose. I still weigh more than I want, but I am darn close to wearing a smaller size. I don't usually talk too much about this, but having come down 2 sizes already in the last 3 years only to go back up a size was devastating to my ego...and now i am going down again. Loss of weight does a couple of things ( beside make me feel happy I mean)...it lowers my blood pressure, and it helps me control my diabetes. Yay!

And another thing....

One thing that puzzled me was I should be losing weight since my thyroid is overactive, yet instead I gained weight...until a co-worker mentioned that I should look at the amount i was eating, which made me realize i was loading up on food. The doctor said that its not uncommon, since your appetite also gets put in overdrive, to offset the high metabolism. For the last couple of weeks I have tried to eat about what I should volume wise, and sorta stay on track with carb control, which is damn hard when there are all these pies and sweets being served up for the holidays.

I guess I should stop for now, else i really start to sound like my mother, who calls every week to tell me about her medical issues