As a general rule, a man's man prides himself on being practical, tough, sensible, and logical. He believes that he can solve any problems which might be thrown at him with aplomb, and he is prepared for a range of situations. A man's man may also prefer “roughing it” while working on projects, eschewing creature comforts for the bare essentials, and stressing self-reliance and ingenuity as valued character traits. Many also consider themselves to be gentleman, with old-fashioned manners and a complex personal code of behavior.
Some people find the culture of the man's man off-putting. People who reject traditional gender roles may dislike the heavy emphasis on masculine activities, for example, while people who think that sensitivity is an important characteristic may struggle to relate to a man's man. Other people point out that the man's man has been held up as a prime example of how to behave for quite a long time in literature, film, and song, and that centuries of praise for manly men can't be all wrong.
While I can agree with much of this definition, I can’t say it works entirely for me. I think my hubby is a man’s man, for the above reasons, and a few more….
He told me during the Vietnam War he thought about going to Canada if he got drafted, even after his dad said if he did, he would be disowned by the family. But he thought about what to do, and said one day in the college library he saw a copy Profiles in Courage, by John F Kennedy.
He also re-read the Kennedy inaugural address, and thought about the freedoms we have because men were willing to stand up for principles. He thought about it and decided that service to the country was important, that if his peers were going, he should as well. But why tempt fate, join the Navy. Later that week there was a Navy recruiter on campus, and he signed up. When he got to Oakland, and was informed all the new Navy Corpsmen were going to be assigned to Marine units, he sought out an officer, and asked if he could be sworn into the Marines. He said fate was telling him something.
After his service, he finished college, taking a scholarship from the Army. Upon graduation, he was commissioned and served as an Infantry officer. But these actions don’t necessarily make him a man’s man.
He also is a good father, taking the time to try as he will to instill some sense in our daughter as she grew up. When she wanted a horse, he got her one with the caveat she help take care of him. The gelding was her horse, but she didn’t care much for mucking out his stall, feeding, grooming. So after entering him in the county fair, we sold him, blue ribbon and all. She cried, and then fumed, but he had told her life and obligations have consequences, like them or not.
Years later, while she was attending college and called to talk to “Pop" about a fender bender she had been in. I listened as he explained to her why keeping the money the other driver gave her to fix her bumper and filing an insurance claim was not only illegal, it was not something decent people do. He said calmly to her “you know we raised you better than that, right?”
He is a man of his word. He says what he means, and definitely means what he says.
He is opposed to senseless violence, but believes there are sometimes when good men must fight evil. Early in our marriage he worked in law enforcement, occasionally having to physically intercede where wrong was being done, something that has made me fear for him several times.
He cried like a baby when his dog died, yet was stoic for our family at funerals, while I was falling to pieces.
He is the rock of our family, and has always said his priority in everything he does is the family.
I think these things also make a man’s man.
Like the lyrics of one of his favorite songs says:
We’re from North California and south Alabam
And little towns all around this land
And we can skin a buck; we can run a trot-line
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
Artist: Williams Hank Jr
Song: Country Boy Can Survive
You have a much better insight into men then most.
ReplyDelete"He says what he means, and definitely means what he says." - sums a lot of it up right there. Being a man's man is a lot about being like John Wayne, they just never let you see the Duke's vulnerable side before he makes the decision to do the right thing, no matter how hard or what the consequences are.
I can only hope my boys could be close to what how you describe your husband.
My kind of man................a 'good man'..............and one to be very proud of...................Mike...
ReplyDeleteI don't know that my insight is all that, but we have been together for what amounts to a long time these days , 30 years. I hope people don't think I am saying he is perfect, nobody is. But overall, he's pretty good.
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